I've been in a strange kind of limbo these past few days.
I needed to make a formal complaint at work about some practice that I was unable to resolve on the floor which has really got me down. I pride myself in my ability to talk people around but it turns out that i have exhausted all of my options and the only one left was to push it up. In nursing when you have to do that it makes you feel like crap, these are your workmates and peers that your talking about which makes for some frosty times when working. It's got me down to say the least and as a result my elation at hitting my under 80 goal has been short lived.
On a positive note, I've been exercising daily, even managed the 1000 steps yesterday afternoon with my sister and her man in tow. I'm not sure if I've moaned about my sister before, she's one of 'those' people, you know the ones that eat garbage, do nothing and always look fantastic... yep... that's my sister. However as much as I talk the talk it honestly doesn't shit me as much as it used to, I think about this journey that I'm on and I realized that she never would be able to do this she is too shy and too much of a stress head.... plus she's doing her honors year for law. Don't envy her one bit!
I found earlier in the week I was half assing workouts, I'm not really sure why Wednesday I had a killer headache and did RPM regardless which in hindsight was a mistake. Also half assed zumba and a few gym sessions, I'm putting it down to stress from work but on closer examination...
I AM A SUGAR ADDICT
When did that happen?, somehow during my 4 weeks of non weighing huge amounts of sugar have wiggled back into my diet. A sneaky chocolate here, ice cream, coke, raspberry licorice, lollies.....
Every single day....
On looking at Tuesday, I think my headache was due to sugar withdrawal
How scary that it can happen so fast and I didn't even notice until I went back over MFP, I've always been an advocate of eat the things you love but really, I've be going at it like old times.... On Thursday I skipped lunch to eat a pack of oreo's
*face palm*
Also noticed my sleeping has been going to hell with the increase... last night I was up until 2am because I decided to have a mini binge at 9pm.... it was within my calories so it was ok...
*beats head against wall*
News Flash Michelle.... IT IS NOT OK!!!!
You cannot live the same way as you did or you will look the same way!
and feel the same way,
and act the same way.....
I deserve more than that!
In other news I DID NOT want to go to gym this morning,
I sooked and stamped my feet and attempted to hide and 'forget' about the time.
I snapped at my kids and D, I text my gym buddy, I even sooked about it on facebook
I ran out of excuses and I went anyway...
Now I love that I went and am feeling 120% better
and I didn't half ass my workout....
Looks like whatever brain fart had me out of action is on the mend and I'm planning to smash the rest of this week.
Bring it on,
I am ready for you!
Saturday 28 September 2013
Wednesday 25 September 2013
Woohoo!
Objective archived, those are numbers below 80kg
And I couldn't be happier,
I remember doing this before, losing and gaining the same kilo for weeks on end,
and it completely did my head in!
No head games to report, no stress over the number and no guilt (or pride) about what went in my mouth.
I'm so pleased at the outcome even though my total loss for this round is 2.5kg (not the most impressive)
Still have 5 weeks to go and I'm so enthused to keep kicking it, maybe I can be under 75 for NYE? Almost double and a half my original goal!
Thanks a billon for the support all here on Instagram and Facebook, couldn't have done it without you xoxo
Tuesday 24 September 2013
The day before weigh in
It's been an interesting experiment this past month, I've been so busy that I've neglected to blog as much as I would have liked. I'm attempting to get onto it today as I wan't to review and keep an open mind on the past month regardless of tomorrows result (or lack there of)
Pro's of one month not weighing in,
Stress about the number has been eliminated, harder at the start but now it's not there at all. I weigh what I weigh and the scale doesn't dictate if it's a good or bad day.
The emotional reaction has been removed, I'm not 'celebrating' or 'punishing' myself with food and exercise which I have done in the past depending on what the scale says.
More observant of non-scale victories, clothing is getting looser, some things don't fit at all (I had to throw out 3/4 of my underwear draw as my size 20 knickers do NOT fit... at all)
I'm more generally relaxed about what I am doing, 12wbt isn't feeling like a diet, just what I'm doing.
People ask me how much I've lost and I say about 15kg since Christmas. It's not a lie and it's much more liberating than spouting out the exact number.
Now I tend to say I've dropped 3 dress sizes rather than the 'number'
Con's of not weighing in...
Lack of accountability, though I track and weigh that number can indicate if you are doing the right thing for your body. I tend to be super clean and organized Sun, Mon, Tues.... lax Wednesday and Thursday (normally the treat meal happens here) and Fri and Sat I follow the plans but tend to not be as serious as the rest of the week. During the no weigh times I found myself running a fairly lax program from Wednesday til Monday.
Strangely I became very obsessed with the calorie burn from exercise and getting the most bang for my buck out of training sessions. I think this was a bi-product of being lax on the program more than a lack of weighing in but as it only happened now I'll call it as a weighing in thing.
Not knowing whats happening with the scales made me feel a little dead in the water in regards to what was working for my body. I find that if I smash out too much cardio my loss tends to stall a little, or If I overdo the sugar without the scale to dictate meant those habits went unchecked. I know I have eaten ALOT more sugar than normal over this past month and have not corrected it. As anal as it sounds I do look at my week on MFP and try and spot the trends that can effect why I've had a big loss or a non loss that week.
So in closing, it had been an interesting exercise, though one I should have held off for between rounds on when I was feeling a little more confident with the program, bad habits have re-surfaced but stress has been alleviated. Tomorrow will tell if it has been a success or not!
Pro's of one month not weighing in,
Stress about the number has been eliminated, harder at the start but now it's not there at all. I weigh what I weigh and the scale doesn't dictate if it's a good or bad day.
The emotional reaction has been removed, I'm not 'celebrating' or 'punishing' myself with food and exercise which I have done in the past depending on what the scale says.
More observant of non-scale victories, clothing is getting looser, some things don't fit at all (I had to throw out 3/4 of my underwear draw as my size 20 knickers do NOT fit... at all)
I'm more generally relaxed about what I am doing, 12wbt isn't feeling like a diet, just what I'm doing.
People ask me how much I've lost and I say about 15kg since Christmas. It's not a lie and it's much more liberating than spouting out the exact number.
Now I tend to say I've dropped 3 dress sizes rather than the 'number'
Con's of not weighing in...
Lack of accountability, though I track and weigh that number can indicate if you are doing the right thing for your body. I tend to be super clean and organized Sun, Mon, Tues.... lax Wednesday and Thursday (normally the treat meal happens here) and Fri and Sat I follow the plans but tend to not be as serious as the rest of the week. During the no weigh times I found myself running a fairly lax program from Wednesday til Monday.
Strangely I became very obsessed with the calorie burn from exercise and getting the most bang for my buck out of training sessions. I think this was a bi-product of being lax on the program more than a lack of weighing in but as it only happened now I'll call it as a weighing in thing.
Not knowing whats happening with the scales made me feel a little dead in the water in regards to what was working for my body. I find that if I smash out too much cardio my loss tends to stall a little, or If I overdo the sugar without the scale to dictate meant those habits went unchecked. I know I have eaten ALOT more sugar than normal over this past month and have not corrected it. As anal as it sounds I do look at my week on MFP and try and spot the trends that can effect why I've had a big loss or a non loss that week.
So in closing, it had been an interesting exercise, though one I should have held off for between rounds on when I was feeling a little more confident with the program, bad habits have re-surfaced but stress has been alleviated. Tomorrow will tell if it has been a success or not!
Thursday 19 September 2013
annoying
So I'm in a REALLY bad mood,
I've been attempting to make contact with someone... anyone from the membership department at my gym with little to no result.... I have a winter membership that I now would like to extend after 3 days of 'needing to check with someone, I'll get right back to you'
And hearing NOTHING.
*steam rising from ears*
Typical, just as I get into the swing of it I feel the need to leave it.
Also my Zumba instructor is stopping teaching at the end of November :(
I used to have a casual membership that I supplemented with running, swimming and zumba (even a circuit class) Hence the choice to join up full time.
So now I'm not sure what to do,
Do I commit to crossfit? which is a fair distance to travel, them suppliment with runs and occasional other instructors zumba classes?
Also looking at a local boxing, PT all rounder...
*head explodes*
I've been attempting to make contact with someone... anyone from the membership department at my gym with little to no result.... I have a winter membership that I now would like to extend after 3 days of 'needing to check with someone, I'll get right back to you'
And hearing NOTHING.
*steam rising from ears*
Typical, just as I get into the swing of it I feel the need to leave it.
Also my Zumba instructor is stopping teaching at the end of November :(
I used to have a casual membership that I supplemented with running, swimming and zumba (even a circuit class) Hence the choice to join up full time.
So now I'm not sure what to do,
Do I commit to crossfit? which is a fair distance to travel, them suppliment with runs and occasional other instructors zumba classes?
Also looking at a local boxing, PT all rounder...
*head explodes*
Friday 13 September 2013
Fistpump Friday
Been an up and down day,
In and out and running around like a mad woman.
Eating has been good, Dave is out for dinner so I ended up having french toast for dinner instead of leftover stir-fry as planned.
Speech Path has recommended Master 4 start school next year (cue mummy losing her marbles!)
Every day I wake up with a new theory about what's better for my son next year, I was back on the second year at kinder bandwagon but now my brain is well stuffed
Miss 1 has had an ear infection and burst ear drum therefore miserable! poor love...
No drinks for me at all this week, even tonight when I'm home alone!
Got new tights and a singlet from Running Bare...
Singlet is too big...
D has been going great guns and is dropping weight like no-ones business, he's dropped another pants size and is now SERIOUSLY desperate for new clothes.
MFP is my bestie again, I'm back on the tracking bandwagon.
Though in an effort to punish me my HRM clonked out during RMP which I was shattered about
While in the mode of trying stuff on, had a go at my Game of Thrones singlet...
And it fits....
Hell's Yes!
In and out and running around like a mad woman.
Eating has been good, Dave is out for dinner so I ended up having french toast for dinner instead of leftover stir-fry as planned.
 |
| Winner especially for me who passionately hates stir fries |
Speech Path has recommended Master 4 start school next year (cue mummy losing her marbles!)
Every day I wake up with a new theory about what's better for my son next year, I was back on the second year at kinder bandwagon but now my brain is well stuffed
Miss 1 has had an ear infection and burst ear drum therefore miserable! poor love...
No drinks for me at all this week, even tonight when I'm home alone!
Got new tights and a singlet from Running Bare...
Singlet is too big...
 |
| Attempting to decide if I send the singlet back or attempt to alter it, I'm now leaning towards sending it back |
D has been going great guns and is dropping weight like no-ones business, he's dropped another pants size and is now SERIOUSLY desperate for new clothes.
MFP is my bestie again, I'm back on the tracking bandwagon.
Though in an effort to punish me my HRM clonked out during RMP which I was shattered about
While in the mode of trying stuff on, had a go at my Game of Thrones singlet...
And it fits....
Hell's Yes!
Monday 9 September 2013
Week 4 in review
So it's been an interesting week,
My brain has been off with the fairies and I'm so tired that I don't really know what's going on. If I didn't know better I'd be weeing on sticks and waiting for a double line as the only other time I recall feeling this exhausted was when in the early days of expecting. I think with everything going on I have finally reached capacity and my body is telling me to do what it has for a long time,
Sleep
So much so that I'm making an appointment to see my GP, had planned for it tomorrow but I've needed to change it for Miss 1 as I think she's got a pretty intense ear infection going on. Poor bubba though she's still eating and can walk in a straight line so it cant be that bad can it?
I've not had the most Stella week, though I have indeed been tracking and moving I'm still not in the game so to speak, I've made some great choices through the week and some not so great ones. Still avoiding the take-away and the booze with great success but I've been allowing the evening snacking to get a little out of control again, it's all habits (and another thing I'd like to tackle at hypnotherapy) which unfortunately has been sidelined due to money.
Time to revisit my week 4 goals!
Change it up, do something different every day to 'normal' extra weights and swimming? Try a new class, figure it out and smash it.
Refocus of food goals (it was around week 5 in round 2 when I started to slack in the meal planning department)
I did do something different, I did cross fit!
It was hard, I though I was going to die. It was intimidating as the people were all SUPER fit but at the end I loved it, I felt strong and even though it was in a group, I felt as though I was in a PT session rather than a group training environment.... would I go back... hells YES!
As a ride through from that I'm also trying Bikram in the next few weeks I've found a studio that's not to far away and am keen as mustard to give it a crack. Two people I know have been trying there hands at it and seem to like it, that's enough for me to have a go at any rate.
Week 5 is the week of my 5 and 10k..... scared as I realized this morning I still cant run for a km....
Ohh milestones.... officially
Kg loss: 1.5
Cm loss: 12.5
Push ups: 3 more
Sit and reach: 2cm more!
Ab's: 15 seconds more
Wall sit: 11 seconds more
Time Trial: 13 seconds down
To my defense, I did two time trials the first was over my last time and I was easily distracted, spend my 'rest time' dicking about with my phone and being generally distracted, decided to go again and jogged for most of it though started feeling really ill, kept going but came straight home afterwards. Realized when I got home that I'd neglected to eat breakfast which never ends well with me so even though it's an improvement, I think I could do better, look out week 8 that time trial is going to get smashed!
Happy so far not weighing in, though it does make me less accountable, I will be doing the jeans instead of scales to try and keep me on board and focused.
Also I really want a thermomix, random but totally true!
 |
| Indian Fish, delicious! |
My brain has been off with the fairies and I'm so tired that I don't really know what's going on. If I didn't know better I'd be weeing on sticks and waiting for a double line as the only other time I recall feeling this exhausted was when in the early days of expecting. I think with everything going on I have finally reached capacity and my body is telling me to do what it has for a long time,
Sleep
So much so that I'm making an appointment to see my GP, had planned for it tomorrow but I've needed to change it for Miss 1 as I think she's got a pretty intense ear infection going on. Poor bubba though she's still eating and can walk in a straight line so it cant be that bad can it?
I've not had the most Stella week, though I have indeed been tracking and moving I'm still not in the game so to speak, I've made some great choices through the week and some not so great ones. Still avoiding the take-away and the booze with great success but I've been allowing the evening snacking to get a little out of control again, it's all habits (and another thing I'd like to tackle at hypnotherapy) which unfortunately has been sidelined due to money.
Time to revisit my week 4 goals!
Change it up, do something different every day to 'normal' extra weights and swimming? Try a new class, figure it out and smash it.
Refocus of food goals (it was around week 5 in round 2 when I started to slack in the meal planning department)
I did do something different, I did cross fit!
It was hard, I though I was going to die. It was intimidating as the people were all SUPER fit but at the end I loved it, I felt strong and even though it was in a group, I felt as though I was in a PT session rather than a group training environment.... would I go back... hells YES!
As a ride through from that I'm also trying Bikram in the next few weeks I've found a studio that's not to far away and am keen as mustard to give it a crack. Two people I know have been trying there hands at it and seem to like it, that's enough for me to have a go at any rate.
Week 5 is the week of my 5 and 10k..... scared as I realized this morning I still cant run for a km....
Ohh milestones.... officially
Kg loss: 1.5
Cm loss: 12.5
Push ups: 3 more
Sit and reach: 2cm more!
Ab's: 15 seconds more
Wall sit: 11 seconds more
Time Trial: 13 seconds down
To my defense, I did two time trials the first was over my last time and I was easily distracted, spend my 'rest time' dicking about with my phone and being generally distracted, decided to go again and jogged for most of it though started feeling really ill, kept going but came straight home afterwards. Realized when I got home that I'd neglected to eat breakfast which never ends well with me so even though it's an improvement, I think I could do better, look out week 8 that time trial is going to get smashed!
Happy so far not weighing in, though it does make me less accountable, I will be doing the jeans instead of scales to try and keep me on board and focused.
Also I really want a thermomix, random but totally true!
 |
| A little Zumba comparison, red top was starting round 2 of 12wbt, second is during the week just gone, I see shape changes and shoulder blades... whoop! |
Sunday 1 September 2013
Sunday Night
So It's been a full on weekend, work has been insane but it certainly keeps me occupied, also gets me laughing at times when didn't really feel like it. I'll spare you the nurse humor however I will tell a little story,
When I had Master 4 he spent from 2 months old till 7 months old at work with me, now let me tell you if you think animals are good for dementia care, you should see what happens with babies!
I was working twice a week and he would come, and spend his day at activity groups either on the floor or in his pram. I would see him for bottles and bum changes... after a while I didn't even see him for those as the other staff (and residents) would share him around and do whatever it took for a snuggle.
To this day, residents, family members and staff constantly ask how he is and ask for photo's which of course I'm happy to provide, and most are completely shocked that he may be heading off to school next year but it makes for a very nice family feel at work.
Also the comments are coming thick and fast about my weight loss, everyone seems to have noticed and it's really great for my moral!
Doesn't change the fact that I'm pretty wreaked from my 2 days shifts with tomorrow night looming on the horizon. On the way to work I have been fantasizing about running...
Car pulling out of driveway at 6am... by 10 past I'm thinking 'it's light enough, I can run in this.... gives me and hour and a half before D leaves for work.... wonder how far I could run in an hour'
WHO IS THIS PERSON?
So I made a decision on Wednesday that because of my issue with the scales, I wont be weighing in again until the 25th of September....
So far so good, I'm feeling really positive and focusing on my eating and getting back into routine with exercise, tomorrow I'm going to do strength at the gym.... then run Tuesday morning...
Wednesday I'm trying crossfit....
I know I don't really believe it either!
We have had some winner meals this week, tonight we had 'Brinner' or Breakfast for dinner.... (that's what I get for letting D choose)
Pancakes, with scrambled eggs, chorizo and spinach and it was delish!
Feeling strong and confident that I can smash this... can I hold it together for 24 days without the scales to keep me on track? I'm hoping that it's the kick I need to finally let go of what they say and just work towards being a healthier and fitter version of me.
When I had Master 4 he spent from 2 months old till 7 months old at work with me, now let me tell you if you think animals are good for dementia care, you should see what happens with babies!
I was working twice a week and he would come, and spend his day at activity groups either on the floor or in his pram. I would see him for bottles and bum changes... after a while I didn't even see him for those as the other staff (and residents) would share him around and do whatever it took for a snuggle.
To this day, residents, family members and staff constantly ask how he is and ask for photo's which of course I'm happy to provide, and most are completely shocked that he may be heading off to school next year but it makes for a very nice family feel at work.
Also the comments are coming thick and fast about my weight loss, everyone seems to have noticed and it's really great for my moral!
Doesn't change the fact that I'm pretty wreaked from my 2 days shifts with tomorrow night looming on the horizon. On the way to work I have been fantasizing about running...
Car pulling out of driveway at 6am... by 10 past I'm thinking 'it's light enough, I can run in this.... gives me and hour and a half before D leaves for work.... wonder how far I could run in an hour'
WHO IS THIS PERSON?
So I made a decision on Wednesday that because of my issue with the scales, I wont be weighing in again until the 25th of September....
So far so good, I'm feeling really positive and focusing on my eating and getting back into routine with exercise, tomorrow I'm going to do strength at the gym.... then run Tuesday morning...
Wednesday I'm trying crossfit....
I know I don't really believe it either!
We have had some winner meals this week, tonight we had 'Brinner' or Breakfast for dinner.... (that's what I get for letting D choose)
Pancakes, with scrambled eggs, chorizo and spinach and it was delish!
Feeling strong and confident that I can smash this... can I hold it together for 24 days without the scales to keep me on track? I'm hoping that it's the kick I need to finally let go of what they say and just work towards being a healthier and fitter version of me.
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